remember me?!

well, well, well. blogger, my friend, remember me?? yes, i know i've neglected you for over a year but now i'm back and ready to tell you just how much things have changed! reading over my last post, i am so proud of the things we've done and come to know over the year 2013.

first and foremost, our family of 5 became a family of 6! this baby was a very pleasant surprise. im not gonna lie, we were kind of upset with ourselves when we found out we were pregnant because we had already come up with a plan to accomplish some of the things we wanted to achieve, at the beginning of the year 2013. we thought that with a new baby coming it would put a little bump in the road on our way to achieving our goals, but it didn't. heavenly father works in mysterious ways doesn't he? everything worked out just the way we planned and we can't take the credit for it. heavenly father truly blessed us!

looking back at how we felt about a new baby, i will always regret. who was i to say we were not ready to receive another special spirit into our family? i love our son so much more knowing he almost wasn't. the other three babies were planned but baby number four was a complete surprise that i felt we were not ready for. i was never worried about how we would take care of our kids financially. we are definitely not wealthy by any means, but i just knew that heavenly father would bless us with the things we needed. and he has. he has so much! some how some way, things would always fall into place and we would have just enough to pay our bills, or just enough to feed us for the week. always just enough.

the thing i was (and still am) most worried about is how i am as a parent. sometimes i would go to sleep disappointed in myself at how i handled the kids that day and swear that i'd be patient the next. but i never was and would beat myself up about it all over again. i thought, and still do sometimes, that my kids deserve a better mommy, a more patient mommy, a more loving and caring mommy. but despite all my insecurities as a mother, my kids will always know that i love them. i tell them (and zeus) every day every time i think it. but i guess i did something right since i've been blessed with four (four?!) beautiful babies that still kiss and hug me in the morning that lets me know they've given me another day's chance to become a better mommy that i know they deserve.

ANYWAYS!! on to the big move. we've moved. the zeus and ashley manumaleuna family have moved from las vegas all the way to good ol independence, missouri. what?! yeah, i couldn't believe it myself. but it has been six good months and we're still alive and kicking! half a year we've been here and it feels like it went by soo fast. i guess you're wondering why we had the nerve to leave the palm trees just so we can freeze our fingers off in the snow? of course there were good reasons! we're not dumb! lol weelllllll, for one thing the schools are way better here than in vegas. like, waaaaay! at first, we moved here because i was wanting to get into pharmacy and the college here (umkc) is actually ranked in the nation for pharmacy school, whereas the school in vegas wasn't. second, even though we felt like we were moving backwards, we decided it was better to sacrifice a place of our own and move in with my parents so we wouldn't have to worry about rent and be able to get school done a lot faster. we are very grateful they've let us take over their basement. it's like we still have our own lil spot even though we don't.

we put worthy in preschool and he absolutely loves it! he has learned so much and i enjoy seeing the excitement in his face when he shows us the things he made in school that day. he is such a good older brother. we were definitely blessed when heavenly father sent him down first.

waylon is still a soft spoken cute little boy. he is also still naughty if you don't watch him. lol he is my cuddle bug though and i try and get it when i can, when worthy, aliah, and west aren't fighting for my attention.

aliah. aliah, aliah, aliah. she is something else. if she doesn't get her way, she'll scream AND hit. but she's an angel when it's just you and her and she has all your attention. oh lawd help me!!

west. he holds a very special place in my heart because like i said, he almost wasn't. i just LOVE him!!!

zeus has a part time job that pays very well for the few hours he works every week. he makes just enough for our bills and necessities. like i said earlier, he has blessed us.

i am just about to start my 3rd semester of school, which i am sooo proud of! in a perfect world, after my 4th semester i would have gotten my associates degree but because i haven't gone to school since i graduated high school in 2005 (holy old!), i have to take refresher courses. boo! but at least i'm progressing. i'm almost done with my generals so the goal this year as far as education goes, is to figure out what the heck i want to get into. pharmacy was my original plan but after taking a few classes, i realized a lot about myself. if i wanted to, i know i could do pharmacy. but is it something i would LOVE? no.

what i found out about myself, is that i want to learn about EVERYTHING!! i want to learn new languages. i want to become a mechanic, yes, a car mechanic. i want to learn how to play the guitar and the piano. i'm ashamed i don't know how to play any instruments coming from a family of musicians. how sad! i found i get the most satisfaction out of something i've created. i love fixing things. i love making and creating things. so maybe some kind of design career?

fashion design? lol! yeah right! as much as i've tried to become someone i'm not as far as dressing all girly and what not, i've come to realize that it's just not me. when i came home and found old pictures, i liked who i was with my baggy pants and fitted tees. or my docs with jeans and a button up collared shirt. spending an hour in the bathroom doing hair and makeup just doesn't cut it for me. i'm good with just my eyeliner and mascara and i'm ok with that. too bad it only took me forever to figure that out. (sad face). but thinking back, i did it for my kids. i wanted people to look at me and then look at my kids and think, "that's their mommy?!" not because i wanted to look pretty, but because i didn't want them walking around with a woman that looks like they don't have it all together. so for them, i'll at least have my hair and makeup decent looking but don't expect me to be wearing high heels shopping for groceries on a monday morning. not happenin.

before i end this post, i just want to express how much i love my husband! last semester i was a pregnant full time student. he was everything and more to my little family. he was still up when i fell asleep at night and wide awake with the kids when i woke up the next day. he cleaned up our place before coming to bed, let me sleep in, woke up with the babies and fed them breakfast every morning, bathed them, and above all, was patient with us all, even his pregnant moody wife, and never complained once. now two months after giving birth, he still does all these things. we are so blessed to have him as a husband and father in our family.

now that i have come into my own a little more, i look forward to this next year and what things will fall into place for us. we've come so far from where we were. it's not at all where we want to be, but we're that much closer.

happy new year! until nexx time..............